Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Are you mightier than your child?
I have a few friends who have children the same ages as Benjamin and Miriam, and we keep in touch via Facebook. As is common in parenting toddlers, behavior and discipline are frequently visited topics. Sometimes, I'm really appalled by what I read from them! Spanking and washing out of mouths and expected sleep training!
I think some people believe I am a permissive parent. I don't believe I am. We have discipline in the house. However, we use discipline by this definition: "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character", whereas it is commonly used by this definition: "control gained by enforcing obedience or order."
Are you mightier than your child?
Benjamin and Miriam are little people. They have thoughts and needs and wants and wishes. They have goals they want and need to attain, goals that I did not give them. Of course, I may view these things as unimportant, but to my 2 year old, making a teetering tower of blocks stand tall on the edge of a soft couch is the most important task he will take on today. He will fail, and he will get upset. It will be childish. But he is a child and I cannot expect him to behave as anything else. Instead, I will respond to him with compassion, empathizing that it is really frustrating when things don't work out as planned. That is an adult concept that he can learn. And he will learn it. He will respond to me, "Yes, mama, it makes me mad." I immediately give him the words he can use to express how he feels so that he doesn't need to throw the blocks across the room, and I won't have to suffer through a tantrum that tries my patience and "requires" punishment.
I want to teach my children what it is like to live in an adult world. Isn't that the goal of parenting, to foster these babies into functioning members of society? What does spanking teach your child? That might is right? I'm bigger than you, so do as I say?
My one year old is learning to put things away. She has her own idea of what this means though. After she placed a kitchen towel in the frying pan cabinet, I took it back out and asked her to hang it back on the stove handle. She told me an emphatic, "No!" I let her walk away. She has the right to refuse my requests, just as I have the right to refuse your requests. Eventually, she will learn that telling me, or anyone, "no" will have natural consequences. She'll learn that if she doesn't put her shoes away when I ask her to, she won't be able to find them on her way out the door. She'll learn that other children won't want to play with her if she doesn't do as they ask sometimes. As an adult, she'll learn that she won't keep a job for very long if she only does things that she likes to do. But I let her make her own decisions, without fear of disappointing me.
I'm a gentle parent. I don't stress about my children's behavior. I believe in natural consequences helping them learn the order of our society. My children respect me because I respect them.
"Children aren't to be molded; they are little people to be unfolded."
I think some people believe I am a permissive parent. I don't believe I am. We have discipline in the house. However, we use discipline by this definition: "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character", whereas it is commonly used by this definition: "control gained by enforcing obedience or order."
Are you mightier than your child?
Benjamin and Miriam are little people. They have thoughts and needs and wants and wishes. They have goals they want and need to attain, goals that I did not give them. Of course, I may view these things as unimportant, but to my 2 year old, making a teetering tower of blocks stand tall on the edge of a soft couch is the most important task he will take on today. He will fail, and he will get upset. It will be childish. But he is a child and I cannot expect him to behave as anything else. Instead, I will respond to him with compassion, empathizing that it is really frustrating when things don't work out as planned. That is an adult concept that he can learn. And he will learn it. He will respond to me, "Yes, mama, it makes me mad." I immediately give him the words he can use to express how he feels so that he doesn't need to throw the blocks across the room, and I won't have to suffer through a tantrum that tries my patience and "requires" punishment.
I want to teach my children what it is like to live in an adult world. Isn't that the goal of parenting, to foster these babies into functioning members of society? What does spanking teach your child? That might is right? I'm bigger than you, so do as I say?
My one year old is learning to put things away. She has her own idea of what this means though. After she placed a kitchen towel in the frying pan cabinet, I took it back out and asked her to hang it back on the stove handle. She told me an emphatic, "No!" I let her walk away. She has the right to refuse my requests, just as I have the right to refuse your requests. Eventually, she will learn that telling me, or anyone, "no" will have natural consequences. She'll learn that if she doesn't put her shoes away when I ask her to, she won't be able to find them on her way out the door. She'll learn that other children won't want to play with her if she doesn't do as they ask sometimes. As an adult, she'll learn that she won't keep a job for very long if she only does things that she likes to do. But I let her make her own decisions, without fear of disappointing me.
I'm a gentle parent. I don't stress about my children's behavior. I believe in natural consequences helping them learn the order of our society. My children respect me because I respect them.
"Children aren't to be molded; they are little people to be unfolded."
Monday, October 24, 2011
Striped Earflap Hats
I have a goal to knit my kids their winter hats every year. This year, they got matching hats!
Benjamin loves the pom-pom. It's his "favorite."
Miriam likes to play dress-up, so she adores wearing hats because they make her feel pretty!
This is a great hat. It's so fun to knit, and apparently fun to wear! I would have knit enough hats for the whole family if I thought my husband would wear a hat. :-)
You can knit one too! The Striped Earflap Hat pattern fully explains how to do jogless stripes and how to add the crochet edging to the hat. A garter stitch edging is also included as an alternative option. Details for how to make the ties and pom-pom are also included. The pattern includes instructions for knitting sizes from newborn (14" head) all the way to large adult (24" head) using a DK weight yarn.
Benjamin loves the pom-pom. It's his "favorite."
Miriam likes to play dress-up, so she adores wearing hats because they make her feel pretty!
This is a great hat. It's so fun to knit, and apparently fun to wear! I would have knit enough hats for the whole family if I thought my husband would wear a hat. :-)
You can knit one too! The Striped Earflap Hat pattern fully explains how to do jogless stripes and how to add the crochet edging to the hat. A garter stitch edging is also included as an alternative option. Details for how to make the ties and pom-pom are also included. The pattern includes instructions for knitting sizes from newborn (14" head) all the way to large adult (24" head) using a DK weight yarn.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Fall is definitely here
It is fall here in Wisconsin. For awhile there, we had a really beautiful Indian summer with temperatures in the 70s and 80s. But, last weekend came and with it a wind that brought rain and 40s and 50s. It felt like the right time to take our kids to the pumpkin farm.
Chris and Miriam were checking out the apples in the store because it was almost too windy to be outside.
In the meantime, Benjamin stole an apple! The shop keeper was nice enough to let him keep it, especially since we bought a 1/2 bushel of apples to take home.
We have an annual tradition of using the "How Big Am I" board at the farm to photograph the kids.
Miriam got trapped by pumpkins nearly as big as her!
And Benjamin picked the perfect pumpkin.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Split Pea and Bacon Soup
When it comes to kitchen utensils, machines, and gadgets, there is nothing I love more than my crockpot. It's the traditional 1950's housewife, residing in the kitchen, allowing you to ignore it all day and still churning out magical yumminess at dinnertime. I have this crockpot (but in white and 10 years old), and I love that it has 4 cook settings plus a "warm" feature to keep your food hot in the event the cooking stops before you have a chance to attend to it. The only thing I could wish for is that it would have the ability to choose the warm feature without first having to go through the 4-10 hours of cooking.
There are a few staples in my crockpot that I have not branched far from: pot roast, pork and sauerkraut, rotisserie-style chicken, chicken soup, taco soup, and chili. However, I'm trying to expand our family's diet horizons, introduce new foods to my toddlers (holy cow! I have 2 of them!!), and still keep it nice and easy. I have been returning to the foods I ate while living in Germany: simple, inexpensive, mostly vegetarian, but extremely delicious foods! This means a return to legumes.
Split Pea and Bacon Soup
1 pound dried split peas
1 pound bacon
1 medium yellow onion
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp kosher salt
2 cans low-sodium chicken broth (I used Swanson 14.5oz cans)
enough water to make 5 cups liquid when combined with broth (I needed 1 3/8 cup - or 11 ounces)
Dump the split peas into the crockpot and pick through to find any rocks, stones, or withered and discolored peas. There's no need to presoak your peas if you're cooking in the crockpot. Slice your bacon into 1/2 inch pieces. I slice it while frozen and the fat is firmed up. Don't worry about thawing it after slicing. Just break it up and toss it on top of your peas. It'll thaw before you turn the crockpot on. Chop your onion and toss in the crockpot on top of the bacon and peas. Sprinkle your salt and pepper on top. Pour your broth and water over everything. No need to stir anything.
Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours.
When it's all done cooking, you can either use a potato masher and mash the peas into oblivion or use a stick blender (my preference) to get a nice smooth soup.
Ideally, I'd like to serve this soup with deep fried croutons, but I didn't have any bread to make them from. Why deep fried? It keeps the croutons from getting soggy in your soup. A nice crusty bread is just as good, however!
And I won't pretend this doesn't have a lot of fat. It uses a whole pound of bacon, in case you hadn't noticed. I suppose, if you're scared of a little bacon, you'll just have to use the tried and true ham. But, bacon will win you brownie points with your husband. Just saying.
There are a few staples in my crockpot that I have not branched far from: pot roast, pork and sauerkraut, rotisserie-style chicken, chicken soup, taco soup, and chili. However, I'm trying to expand our family's diet horizons, introduce new foods to my toddlers (holy cow! I have 2 of them!!), and still keep it nice and easy. I have been returning to the foods I ate while living in Germany: simple, inexpensive, mostly vegetarian, but extremely delicious foods! This means a return to legumes.
Split Pea and Bacon Soup
1 pound dried split peas
1 pound bacon
1 medium yellow onion
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp kosher salt
2 cans low-sodium chicken broth (I used Swanson 14.5oz cans)
enough water to make 5 cups liquid when combined with broth (I needed 1 3/8 cup - or 11 ounces)
Dump the split peas into the crockpot and pick through to find any rocks, stones, or withered and discolored peas. There's no need to presoak your peas if you're cooking in the crockpot. Slice your bacon into 1/2 inch pieces. I slice it while frozen and the fat is firmed up. Don't worry about thawing it after slicing. Just break it up and toss it on top of your peas. It'll thaw before you turn the crockpot on. Chop your onion and toss in the crockpot on top of the bacon and peas. Sprinkle your salt and pepper on top. Pour your broth and water over everything. No need to stir anything.
Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours.
When it's all done cooking, you can either use a potato masher and mash the peas into oblivion or use a stick blender (my preference) to get a nice smooth soup.
Ideally, I'd like to serve this soup with deep fried croutons, but I didn't have any bread to make them from. Why deep fried? It keeps the croutons from getting soggy in your soup. A nice crusty bread is just as good, however!
And I won't pretend this doesn't have a lot of fat. It uses a whole pound of bacon, in case you hadn't noticed. I suppose, if you're scared of a little bacon, you'll just have to use the tried and true ham. But, bacon will win you brownie points with your husband. Just saying.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
'Tis the Season to Knit
The weather is cooling down, the winds are picking up, the leaves are changing colors, and pumpkins are the latest in decor. For me, this means it's a more comfortable time to pick up the wool and needles and create loving pieces of yarnie goodness for my family and friends!
I joined a 1st Birthday Swap on Ravelry for Miriam's birth group, and I knit up a few things for a special little girl and her mommy. (Check out Lin's parenting blog at This Tiny Spark. She's just starting, but she's a wonderful writer and an even better mommy!)
Little Miss Maya is having a cupcake birthday, so I wanted to stay on that theme. Another mom made Maya a cupcake birthday skirt, so I made her a cupcake onesie to go with.
And to completely go cupcake overboard, I knit a pair of Duffers. This slipper pattern is fabulous! Here's my Ravelry project page.
And a little something for momma: A pair of French Press Slippers. Details on my Ravelry project page.
I joined a 1st Birthday Swap on Ravelry for Miriam's birth group, and I knit up a few things for a special little girl and her mommy. (Check out Lin's parenting blog at This Tiny Spark. She's just starting, but she's a wonderful writer and an even better mommy!)
Little Miss Maya is having a cupcake birthday, so I wanted to stay on that theme. Another mom made Maya a cupcake birthday skirt, so I made her a cupcake onesie to go with.
And to completely go cupcake overboard, I knit a pair of Duffers. This slipper pattern is fabulous! Here's my Ravelry project page.
And a little something for momma: A pair of French Press Slippers. Details on my Ravelry project page.
Friday, August 26, 2011
How much money have I saved by breastfeeding?
I came across a post on Twitter where a mom claimed to have saved just over $2000 by breastfeeding instead of formula feeding. It got me to thinking...how much money have I saved by breastfeeding?
Let's start counting costs I've incurred while breastfeeding at the beginning, when I started nursing Benjamin. I worked out of the home for 6 months, and then have been home to feed him and Miriam ever since. I do not offer bottles when I am available to nurse, so Miriam has had a bottle offered only 1 time and she refused it. There's been no point in bottle-training her since I am a stay at home mom now, so I didn't push it:
Breastfeeding Introduction Class: offered for free by my birthing center = $0
Breastpump for returning to work: got a second-hand Medela PIS = $50
New tubing and flanges for pump: bought on clearance = $5 for tubing, $8 for flanges
Bottles: bought a 3 pack of Dr. Brown's bottles = $16
Bottlebrush: $5
Breastmilk storage bags: I used Lanisoh's Breastmilk Bags, an average of 1 pack per month for the 6 months I pumped = $60
Reuseable nursing pads: I made these myself or received them as promotional gifts = $0
Disposable nursing pads: These were thinner under my work clothes, used Lanisoh's brand, an average of 1 box/month for 2 years = $118
Nursing shawl: I purchased a fancy custom-made shawl I rarely use because I am comfortable nursing without a cover in public, but I didn't start out that way = $40
Benjamin did get a good amount of formula in those 6 months that I worked, to supplement what I couldn't pump. So if I factor in the 8 cans of Target brand Gentile Formula we used, it would add $118 to our feeding costs.
My total cost in breastfeeding my 2 children (with the small amount of formula supplementation) = $420
Morning nursing session in bed on a lazy Saturday
Now, if we had exclusively formula fed Benjamin, our formula costs would be much higher. I found an online chart that broke down the average amount of formula drunk per day, but it only accounted for up to 6 months of age. Because babies can begin to be offered solid foods at 6 months of age, I would assume that the average amount of formula consumed would stay constant from 6-12 months, with the additional calories needed ingested in the form of solid foods. According to this chart (which, when compared to other online charts, falls right in the middle of the low vs high amounts of formula per day), a child will consume roughly 11,490 ounces of formula in 1 year. The Up & Up brand of Gentle Formula (which was what Benjamin tolerated), costs $14.80 for 80 ounces. 11,490/80=143.625x$14.80 = $2,125.65 for a one year supply of powdered formula.
Miriam has a casein allergy, so she cannot have dairy products. She also likely has a soy allergy (very common in babies that have a CSM allergy) So, formula feeding her would require an elemental formula. These formulas are available to us by prescription only, but would not be covered by insurance. Each can retails at $32.98 and makes 80fl oz. Keeping with the same averages that we used in calculating Benjamin's formula cost, we would assume that Miriam would also take in roughly 11,490 ounces in one year. That's a total cost of $4,738.75 for a years worth of formula!
Add in cost of bottles = $16 (assuming we're cool with lots of washing and can work with 3 bottles in our cabinets)
Bottle brush = $5
Formula travel dispenser = $7
Total cost for formula feeding my 2 children for only one year each = $6,892.40
Nursing my daughter while formula feeding a nanny charge on yet another lazy Saturday morning
WOW! Look at that! I saved $6,472.40 by choosing to feed my child naturally by breastfeeding!! Of course, this doesn't take into account any of the potential medical savings for either my kids or myself (that's right, breastfeeding lowers my risk of common cancers!) over our lifetime.
These simple calculations mean a lot to me, considering that I initially chose to breastfeed purely for the monetary savings. Since then, the act of breastfeeding has developed to hold so much more meaning to me than frugality. As science attempts to create substitutes to rival Mother's Milk, it only furthers my education in how wonderful God made my body and how he designed it to nurture my children. No amount of money saved will ever compare to that!
Let's start counting costs I've incurred while breastfeeding at the beginning, when I started nursing Benjamin. I worked out of the home for 6 months, and then have been home to feed him and Miriam ever since. I do not offer bottles when I am available to nurse, so Miriam has had a bottle offered only 1 time and she refused it. There's been no point in bottle-training her since I am a stay at home mom now, so I didn't push it:
Breastfeeding Introduction Class: offered for free by my birthing center = $0
Breastpump for returning to work: got a second-hand Medela PIS = $50
New tubing and flanges for pump: bought on clearance = $5 for tubing, $8 for flanges
Bottles: bought a 3 pack of Dr. Brown's bottles = $16
Bottlebrush: $5
Breastmilk storage bags: I used Lanisoh's Breastmilk Bags, an average of 1 pack per month for the 6 months I pumped = $60
Reuseable nursing pads: I made these myself or received them as promotional gifts = $0
Disposable nursing pads: These were thinner under my work clothes, used Lanisoh's brand, an average of 1 box/month for 2 years = $118
Nursing shawl: I purchased a fancy custom-made shawl I rarely use because I am comfortable nursing without a cover in public, but I didn't start out that way = $40
Benjamin did get a good amount of formula in those 6 months that I worked, to supplement what I couldn't pump. So if I factor in the 8 cans of Target brand Gentile Formula we used, it would add $118 to our feeding costs.
My total cost in breastfeeding my 2 children (with the small amount of formula supplementation) = $420
Morning nursing session in bed on a lazy Saturday
Now, if we had exclusively formula fed Benjamin, our formula costs would be much higher. I found an online chart that broke down the average amount of formula drunk per day, but it only accounted for up to 6 months of age. Because babies can begin to be offered solid foods at 6 months of age, I would assume that the average amount of formula consumed would stay constant from 6-12 months, with the additional calories needed ingested in the form of solid foods. According to this chart (which, when compared to other online charts, falls right in the middle of the low vs high amounts of formula per day), a child will consume roughly 11,490 ounces of formula in 1 year. The Up & Up brand of Gentle Formula (which was what Benjamin tolerated), costs $14.80 for 80 ounces. 11,490/80=143.625x$14.80 = $2,125.65 for a one year supply of powdered formula.
Miriam has a casein allergy, so she cannot have dairy products. She also likely has a soy allergy (very common in babies that have a CSM allergy) So, formula feeding her would require an elemental formula. These formulas are available to us by prescription only, but would not be covered by insurance. Each can retails at $32.98 and makes 80fl oz. Keeping with the same averages that we used in calculating Benjamin's formula cost, we would assume that Miriam would also take in roughly 11,490 ounces in one year. That's a total cost of $4,738.75 for a years worth of formula!
Add in cost of bottles = $16 (assuming we're cool with lots of washing and can work with 3 bottles in our cabinets)
Bottle brush = $5
Formula travel dispenser = $7
Total cost for formula feeding my 2 children for only one year each = $6,892.40
Nursing my daughter while formula feeding a nanny charge on yet another lazy Saturday morning
WOW! Look at that! I saved $6,472.40 by choosing to feed my child naturally by breastfeeding!! Of course, this doesn't take into account any of the potential medical savings for either my kids or myself (that's right, breastfeeding lowers my risk of common cancers!) over our lifetime.
These simple calculations mean a lot to me, considering that I initially chose to breastfeed purely for the monetary savings. Since then, the act of breastfeeding has developed to hold so much more meaning to me than frugality. As science attempts to create substitutes to rival Mother's Milk, it only furthers my education in how wonderful God made my body and how he designed it to nurture my children. No amount of money saved will ever compare to that!
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